Birthday Blog

Two minutes left before birthday over. One minute. It's a great day to be me and 43. Full moon from yesterday still in effect now. Good ethiopian food, good times, Moët Imperiale. Ran four miles and will be completely unrecovered for two months. Had to work at my least favorite locale, Penn Station but managed to train two new gals. Eyes drooping have to close them so I can open them up again in two seconds.

New Year

I figured I had better add a New Year's blog entry before January 2 sneaks up on me fewer than thirty minutes. New Year's Eve was spent with the girls all day running around trying to keep them (and me) out of as much trouble as possible. We arrived a full two hours after my original projection to a kid-friendly french party a couple blocks away. Everyone there was either french, francophone and bi-racial if they were a child or if an adult, the woman was noire, the mari français. I rang in the New Year sans beau because he had a gig Upstate four hours away. It was fun, speaking French and peppering my usual party conversation with lots o' fascinating astrological facts. My girls were, for the most part so happy to be out partying late. The older of the two was in a wonderful mood,they both were so proud to be dressed like princesses (although the younger refused at first to leave in the house in the vestments she had on. She wanted to be as glittery and pink as her older sister. After a short tussle and random last minute search, we were able to depart with her content to wear the new Christmas butterfly sequin get up I snatched last minute at Daffy's). Fast forward to getting home, the party next door (as in Duplex next door) which had been in full swing since five o'clock, showed no signs of neither slowing or quieting down. I told one of my neighbors I would most likely stop by when the girls were tucked away (obviously oblivious to the racket from the excitement before). I thought I'd climb through the window from our shared balcony say Happy New Year and leave but of course ended up staying for several hours. By the time I hit the hay, that darned Sun was popping up and I was doomed to spend today recovering with only three and a half hours of sleep. I am thankful that New Year's Eve only comes once a year as this type of partying is not conducive to productivity and ideal parenting...
Well, I rarely get out past seven pm these days, and in the spirit of the First Quarter Aries Moon, I threw caution to the wind. Now it's time to get down to some serious discipline (and finish up the one chart I have been writing about in this blog for months) and persistence, consistency and prayer. I am ready to face this year head on. Two minutes to spare.

F#$%ked First Quarter

Child number 2's first visit to the ER resulted in a plastic surgeon suturing her poor little baby pinkie which had a missing nail bed and severed tip from being slammed in a door. Now that that harrowing experience is behind me, I can go to sleep without having done anything I had originally planned to do today.

This morning she literally pulled me out of bed. She took my hand and pulled me until my body heavily rolled off the edge of the platform bed. Sigh. Tomorrow is a new day. I feel like I am hung over from taking some shitty sleeping pills without having enjoyed the comatose sleep.

Since I am unwilling and unable to go to bed before midnight, I have seventeen minutes with which to scan  some positive affirmations, make a quick checklist in my head and write one sentence on Lunology.
Bye.

Crappy Crapricorn Moon

Damn it, the moon is in my sign, but void-of-course. I was trying to think about what to write about since I missed the new moon. Running through my head are the myriad of inner demons that must be slain in order for me to reach my goal of being a successful person. I certainly have a lot of work to do in the next thirty days. It's actually terrifying. One of the reasons is that my life is on the decline. Not a lot of time left.
Doing a little at a time is not enough. How to overcome procrastination? How to overcome the lack of persistence? How to keep on when I just want to sleep? I've decided that when I get really old–surely you heard that old people sleep very little, is it because they are trying to get the most out of their last few days?–I will never eat or sleep. But right now I look like I am literally 20 years old. Although my body has not been able to stave off middle age in the weight department. Not for the lack of my trying the methods that worked pre-children! Now, when I run, I feel as though my heart will suddenly stop. These extra 30ish pounds cause me to be sluggish and tired for the entire time I attempt to move.

Persistence. I need to read the Think and Grow Rich chapter every night for 30 days. I need to dedicate some time to my app every night for the next 30 days. Need to not eat for 30 days. The problem is that I wont do any of this every day for thirty days. I will attempt 24 (except eating) days. That's 80%. Shorter, more frequent entries. Less Bejeweled Blitz. Can I give up simple sugars?
Bye.

Full Bull Moon Doth Mountains Move 11/11/11

I really need to write at least every moon phase. OK I don't have a good excuse (off the subject for a nanosecond, but I really need to look up how to make smart quotes for blog entries) for slogging off regularly except that I have been making a concerted effort to run three to four times a week (it should be more like three four times to the seventh power) and have been climbing into bed right after the rug rats have been put down. I do have a good excuse, however, for not having written last night, the full moon in Taurus, because I was soaking up information given from neurological pediatrician Maya Shetreat-Klein, MD on how to treat complex neurological problems with herbs. I can't say how I came to be wired to intuitively understand some forms of biochemistry, but for some reason, I innately understand, to a small extent, how neurotransmitters work in the brain and how neural networks function when handling oxidative stressors or excitors. Perhaps early exposure to the concept of mitochondria in Madeleine L'Engle's A Wrinkle in Time gave me a starting point for understanding cellular structure. Having exposure to these concepts gave me confidence in knowing that DNA can be altered and restructured all throughout one's lifetime. And this often can be done quickly by nutrition and botanicals. Since K has been off casein and gluten for a very short time, she has changed tremendously for the better. Today she was repeating the "p" sound in speech therapy on demand. This was earth-shattering for the therapist and I. The full moon brought me valuable information as well as positively charged, stabilized energy that will enable us to help shape her into the genius she is. I am eternally grateful to the Universe that I have agreed to help us (the child and I) learn this information in my lifetime.

Secondly, someone asked me to join a panel for the United Nations regarding the number of families and individuals affected by autism in the African Diaspora in America. This, of course, has been a mission that has already been laid out. So I didn't really do any rituals or full moon paper burning type cleansing per se, but many mountains have moved. They just happen to move slowly sometimes unless detonated by the Earth swallowing them up whole. As a Capricorn, you understand that I must occasionally move mountains instead of climbing every last one to in order to reach its peak.

The Hour of Mercurious

Sorting out what I have to do today in a little messy pile on my desk in Noho. Billing for expenses, invoices for surveyors, insurance changes for child plus more forms from government and school, plus the fact that the gym across the street is calling, plus an astrological chart I have been working on for two months with no regularity, plus a whole list of marketers in New York whose names I do not know but whose names need be known in order to become prospects for more work.
Too many things to do so where do I start? When this happens, when there are too many competing and sometimes conflicting situations needing my attention at once, I need to go back to the basics. Beginning with the planetary ruler of the day–Tuesday is Mars day. You would never know from the name "Tues." I don't know where "Tues" comes from, but in French, we call this day ruled by the Mars, mardi which makes much sense. The current time is 10:13 am. My google app tells me here in New York City, it's Mercury hour until 10:52 am after that it will be Mercury hour. According to Wikipedia, it is a good time for: Success in studies / communications; children; making a good impression; routine activities and activities needing clear communications; teaching / learning; important business letters / phone calls; meetings to develop or communicate ideas; buying / selling; routine shopping, errands, travel; job applications / interviews; seeking favors from neighbors, co-workers.


According to this information, the next thirty minutes should be spent finding matches for prospects. Thereafter the moon should aid me in meditation (chanting) and going to the gym.


Today the moon being in my lunar natal sign Libra means that it is an appropriate day to visit the Sensorium to get an idea of what I should be asking people who have attended the exhibit.


Hope to revisit later. Time flies.

Note to another Goat

Hey Matt,
I was very sincerely touched that you reached out to ask how we are doing a couple of weeks ago. I didn’t respond until now because there’s too much to say and so few words to describe these experiences. I did read your post re: not believing in God anymore. I was brought up Christian but that label did not fit me, so I started practicing Buddhism and that helped me put my world view into a much more manageable perspective. I still don’t like labels but this one is the only one I can think of to describe my relationship to that-which-is-universal. You see, we as parents, from the Buddhist perspective, have come into this lifetime with a certain karma. Our girls did too. Like yours, my daughter has this “incurable” neurological “disability.” But let me tell you something, I know that my daughter is a million times “smarter” than I. I know that she is my child to teach me how to love unconditionally and to accept her as she is. I may not at all times be able to communicate the way I have learned how to in the world but I do know that my thoughts and non-verbal communications can affect her much more than language ever could. At four years eight months, she still does not speak. That scares the shit out of me, but I know know in my heart of hearts, she will when she is ready. I know she will be all the things in her life that she is supposed to be. I know that she will have a fulfilling, meaningful and happy existence not because God does or doesn’t have anything to do with it but because I am attuning these thought patterns into her subconsciousness every minute I can think about it and she feels this on a fundamental level. Your children do too, and so did you when you were a child and still carry your parents’ thought-vibrations with you as an adult. We all do. These so-called autistic children have gifts that we have not yet been able to recognize and I need you to believe this. I just KNOW it. Not because the religions, or schools or medical tests can prove or disprove this. It just is.
Clearly, I can relate to your pain from first-hand experience. As a child, I suffered a lot and wondered why God allowed it until one day (as a helpless child), I decided to control my fate by willing with my own mind what I wanted to happen (because I knew if I didn’t, someone was planning to kill me and other children, actually). From that moment and many others that followed, I realized that I could use my mind to change the course that I was on (they recognize this as quantum physics now). There’s a lot more to say but I will keep this post “short” this time because I think I made my point.
Our children carry a change in their DNA. We see it as “bad” but it isn’t. I believe every autistic child is super developed in certain areas, light years ahead of us. We, as parents have to will ourselves to find those gifts in them and nurture them, all the while nurturing ourselves. You have running (I run too but not nearly enough), and this is a positive way of dealing with the enormous responsibilities we face but we can do it. Similarly, by telling ourselves we can go farther, faster and longer than our personal best, we need to apply the same with our relationships with our families. No other option here. It’s our karmic duty to them.
Finally, Matt, this is the most important piece of encouragement I can offer: in the book Navigating the Collapse of Time, A Peaceful Path Through the End of Illusions, David Ian Cowan states that the Ho’oponopono Hawaiians sat in a circle whenever a member o the community experienced misfortune (p.145). While silently reflecting over what they may have done to contribute to this individual’s misfortune, they asked for her forgiveness and one by one, until everyone had left the circle, the person in the middle became healed. You are, like myself, a Capricorn and by nature have tendencies toward rigidity which cause problems like rheumatism in our knees (while running actually eventually strengthens them, if done correctly and consistently which has not been the recent case for me so of course they hurt this very minute). We have trouble in expressing our emotions, especially love and vulnerability so I found this very helpful. Having to summarize the jist of it, we need to think of our girls in our mind’s eye and repeat this: “i love you”, “I am sorry,” “please forgive me” and “thank you.” A certain Dr. Len did this when he worked with inmates of a criminal insane asylum. As he focused his thoughts (by saying the four phrases above) on each inmate, one at a time, they began getting well and eventually the ward shut down as they were all released. The power of YOUR mind is just as amazing! If there is a God, it gave you which you can do all by yourself!! damnit (interjection added for ironic emphasis).
These beautiful children will certain respond to us on a fundamental level if we direct our thoughts in this way.
That is all for tonight and I hope you don’t mind if I cut and paste this to my blog and that I am too tired to proofread! Thank you!