Hmmm. Ok, March has always been a terrible month for me. I don't know why. Something out of whack happens to me when the transiting Sun or Moon (the Luminaries) is in Pisces and sometimes in Aries. Lately it's been pretty much too painful to write this blog because of some very ugly presence in my fifth house. (the fifth house is the first child) That son-of-bitch Uranus is messing with me through my child who has lead poisoning. It's level 14 which isn't terribly high but it's cause for some real concern. It's hard to tell if she doesn't speak yet because she has a learning disability (she also has mercury in Pisces), because she is bilingual or because she has been tripped up by lead. I noticed that she has had episodes of intense mania (which is also a Uranian trait) sometimes (especially on a sugar rush and no I don't pump the kid up with sugar–specifically it's happened after boxed organic juices or maybe too many wholegrain crackers and yes I know that these are simple carbohydrates). We will nip this in the bud, starting with nutrition. My kid seems to notice that I am going more easy on her since I now know that she is not intentionally going off the deep end all the time. I know she has eaten paint chips and the building we live in is one hundred years old.
I am waiting for the Department of Housing Preservation to come to do a lead test. After I get the results, I will elaborate on this blog.
Wouldn't you know that transiting bastard Neptune is in my natal fourth house of home which means that my freaking roots are all screwed up and up in the air and about to dissolve into thin air. The landlord told me he wanted us out and was ready to rip up our lease. At the moment, I have a kind of headache so I am gonna keep it short and leave it at that.
Oh, and I got an email from an open call interview I went to back in January (I think that was the only interview I ever went to where I didn't sit down because it was too short and impersonal. It was like speed dating but for an interview). I am so uncertain about jumping back into the workforce. I have just been beaten up (caused by myself of course) so much that I feel I could be damaged. But the fact of the matter is that I have two children. I have to pay a lot of fees to get this business going. Bottom line, I need an income. I am absolutely horrified that I might not have enough time and energy to do it all.
I am absolutely horrified. I need this job though. I really need to hang on to it just until I don't need it anymore. I absolutely need to nail it and not get the life sucked out of me and the wind knocked out of my sails. Gotta stay on track. Good news is that it's a Quark job. Good news is that it's the Learning Annex (I need to work for somewhere or something that I like). Bad news, I told her I could do web. I can do the most basic basics of web and that is a struggle. I need the job to be so easy for me that I don't even have to think. And finally, I have to practice having a healthy mental outlook so that I can combat any of the recurring problems that I might have faced in the past (I get that I will be tested over and over).
Forgive me for not proofreading but I have a lot of work to do and I am not exactly feeling peppy at 12:30 am.
No comments:
Post a Comment