Death

Not gonna say a lot here. Have to go to Phila tomorrow nite to stay with my aunt while the lead abatement takes place. Reallllly inopportune time to have to leave. We ended up not getting the house we wanted a few blocks away. Owner didn't want freelancers even though we would have paid six month's rent upon moving. Today we saw...Ok I dont even want to get into it.

I did a tarot reading. Shouldn't have done that when my heart feels like it is going to beat out of my chest.
Nervous as hell.

My final card was the Death card. I pray that means this huge struggle will be over. Feeling like I'M gonna die. I am, of course worried for my child. I don't think I could make it without her. Maybe it's the two cups of caramel tea I drank a little while ago. We had to pack up a lot of crap so that the workers can get it done. Glad Nicolas will be here while they work.

Each day that goes by makes me wonder if it's a signal to finally leave New York. 

Running on Empty

Found lots of encouraging information to help my kiddie. In essence, she needs lots of vitamin B6 and magnesium. I have to get some blood work done, contact a few specialists and then we will be on our way.

In response to last night's griping, I went for a pseudo thera-run in Prospect Park this morning before all the nasty smoke from barbecuing commenced. I actually felt kind of silly holding my GIANT Sony CD Player. I might as well have been jogging with a giant bumblebee-colored plate. Of course, I accidentally popped in a TRANCE CD which is not at all conducive to keeping up a good pace on a searingly hot, humid morning.

Did I mention my other baby wakes me up all throughout the night and early morning so I never get to sleep more than 2.5 hours at a time? And I never get to sleep more than seven hours total? Did I mention that I am the type of person who needs nine hours of sleep a day?

I decided that it might be better to keep the first run in god-knows-how-long at a nice, meditative pace to match the music. Hopefully I will be able to move my legs tomorrow. Nothing cuts through a bout of depression and self-pity like sore limbs. One who is out of shape has to dispense excess energy on recovering from thirty minutes of light exercise for the next week and a half. Too tired and in physical pain to worry about nonsense.

As I have been considering my money-making options, I am now pulling together some factoids about the moon and turning that into a quiz which will be featured on Facebook. Not one to take Andrew Carnegie's advice to heart (keep working on one task and finish it before starting another), I have also decided to commence production on a flyer to announce my Broken Relationships workshop (more on that later). Finally, I am going to make a newsletter regarding one sign a month, analyzing it's features and pitfalls. It's going to be written in a funny, sarcastic tone but always with an upside to encourage personal development. We'll see how that works out.

Since the moon is now waning, I decided not to open a Paypal account (waning moon = money decreasing) yet. That will have to wait till I cast a spell on the New Moon (June 12).

Alright, I got less than an hour left in me, so I am going to try to find out more psychographic information on the LOHAS marketing segment.

Sorry I didn't put any links in the body text. I will save that task for a rainy day...

June and the Dehydrated Prune

Got my kid's evals in the mail today. Not good. The diagnosis, of course is that she is on the autistic spectrum. But worse than that, she is not functioning anywhere near the so-called normal range in IQ for her age. I am going to have to become an pseudo expert on yet another topic (or eight). This undertaking is my priority, however.

At this moment, I am pretty down because I really feel like we are not working on this together. Case in point, he's at a party for a 28 year old. What annoys me too, is that I spend all my time on the internet looking in vain for an apartment in a city where I don't want to live. He doesn't look for apartments but rather refers all leads to me. So I am looking for apartments, figuring out what to do for the kid, setting up all the appointments for the schools, doctors, specialists, etc., writing another fucking business plan, researching all the possibilities on how to change the outcome of her biochemistry (that's no walk in the park), taking care of the kids, trying to keep two rooms of the apartment livable, going to class (which is my only social outlet–haven't been to any kind of festivity since Melodie's art opening the day before my daughter's birthday), getting ready to build this business in which case I will go viral or go postal, and wondering if any miracles are being parceled out among the human population (certainly not in most parts of the world and certainly not in Louisianna/Gulf of Mexico), and if so, could I have one please?

Yet, I have always figured that to survive I have to do it on my terms. I want to get a job now, but I'll be damned if I can't seem to find one. So the stakes get higher, because it is now time for me to put my virtual money where my mouth is and start my astrology business. Officially, I will begin to teach astrology...

It's a boiling 80 something degrees at 11:30 at night. I hate muggy summer weather. The fan is drying my contact lenses out and I am constantly getting dehydrated. Conversely, my skin is constantly wet and oily. Speaking of which, I hope the soap I made the other night isn't caustic...

Alright, got my gripes out. It's time to move on. I will get through this by controlling the thoughts in my mind.

Mercurial Madness at the end of May (well beginning of Gemini June)

Tuesday, 12:12 am. I just downed Caramel Vanilla Lipton (two tea bags, as their pyramid shaped organza-like bags contain paltry amounts of leaves). Not long before, I polished off a Vitamin Water bottle full of refrigerated Free Trade coffee I made this morning. My back up plan was to go back to school (after all, all those ads on Facebook telling me Obama wants moms to go back to school must mean something, right?) to get a psych degree, probably in Child Psychology seeing how there's going to be an increased need (especially for those who are bilingual in French) for these professionals up until 2014, as I discovered from the Bureau of Labor Statistics.

Anyway, my mind has changed now since I am gathering up that much needed information on my target market. Writing papers, citing others who have parsed together boring bullshoot has never been my favorite pasttime (unlike what I am doing right here in this blog). I just want to do it already. What IT is, I don't know. After looking at my sister-in-law's website, I marvel at how much she has achieved in just five years. I know I need to get my ass moving (nothing to inspire an underachiever Capricorn like an overachieving Virgo). There's no turning my back on my astrological business.

Since my last post, I decided that my target market is iPhone Moms in the U.S., who are ages 25-50, income 45K to 100K, multi-tasking, connection-craving, and life-planning. I have no idea of what my USP (Unique Selling Proposition) will be, but one fact that glares at me from my computer screen is that the astrological sites and apps—birth data aside—are woefully un-interactive. I have learned that people become much more engaged with a brand (more marketing b.s.) when they actually have something to do! HA HA! Duh! I also learned that women in America, two years my senior spend more time social gaming than any other age group. HMMMM. Now I am not so ashamed for spending six hours a day playing Bejeweled. I gotta stop that so I can build this business and become bejeweled.

Currently, I am trying to tap into my mercury in aquarius and think of that next brilliant idea. Using my exalted mercury, dignified in the third house along with my sun of business creativity, I should be able to knock it out of the park after surveying my competition.

(I figure it's a good idea to balance the weak-point blog posts with some strong-point posts so I keep my chart descriptions in balance which = moon in Libra)

The whole child psych thing came up because my daughter had to wait so long to get her eval which finally happened this past Saturday. Now the battling for her really begins. I  freaked out tonight when I saw that she had made a small hole in the duct tape I used to cover the door frame (containing a layer of lead paint underneath). I still have confidence that her lead level will go down again during the next test, and her language capabilities will go up within a few weeks of therapy.

BTW, please pray that we find a place by June 15th.