Sorting out what I have to do today in a little messy pile on my desk in Noho. Billing for expenses, invoices for surveyors, insurance changes for child plus more forms from government and school, plus the fact that the gym across the street is calling, plus an astrological chart I have been working on for two months with no regularity, plus a whole list of marketers in New York whose names I do not know but whose names need be known in order to become prospects for more work.
Too many things to do so where do I start? When this happens, when there are too many competing and sometimes conflicting situations needing my attention at once, I need to go back to the basics. Beginning with the planetary ruler of the day–Tuesday is Mars day. You would never know from the name "Tues." I don't know where "Tues" comes from, but in French, we call this day ruled by the Mars, mardi which makes much sense. The current time is 10:13 am. My google app tells me here in New York City, it's Mercury hour until 10:52 am after that it will be Mercury hour. According to Wikipedia, it is a good time for: Success in studies / communications; children; making a good impression; routine activities and activities needing clear communications; teaching / learning; important business letters / phone calls; meetings to develop or communicate ideas; buying / selling; routine shopping, errands, travel; job applications / interviews; seeking favors from neighbors, co-workers.
According to this information, the next thirty minutes should be spent finding matches for prospects. Thereafter the moon should aid me in meditation (chanting) and going to the gym.
Today the moon being in my lunar natal sign Libra means that it is an appropriate day to visit the Sensorium to get an idea of what I should be asking people who have attended the exhibit.
Hope to revisit later. Time flies.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Note to another Goat
Hey Matt,
I was very sincerely touched that you reached out to ask how we are doing a couple of weeks ago. I didn’t respond until now because there’s too much to say and so few words to describe these experiences. I did read your post re: not believing in God anymore. I was brought up Christian but that label did not fit me, so I started practicing Buddhism and that helped me put my world view into a much more manageable perspective. I still don’t like labels but this one is the only one I can think of to describe my relationship to that-which-is-universal. You see, we as parents, from the Buddhist perspective, have come into this lifetime with a certain karma. Our girls did too. Like yours, my daughter has this “incurable” neurological “disability.” But let me tell you something, I know that my daughter is a million times “smarter” than I. I know that she is my child to teach me how to love unconditionally and to accept her as she is. I may not at all times be able to communicate the way I have learned how to in the world but I do know that my thoughts and non-verbal communications can affect her much more than language ever could. At four years eight months, she still does not speak. That scares the shit out of me, but I know know in my heart of hearts, she will when she is ready. I know she will be all the things in her life that she is supposed to be. I know that she will have a fulfilling, meaningful and happy existence not because God does or doesn’t have anything to do with it but because I am attuning these thought patterns into her subconsciousness every minute I can think about it and she feels this on a fundamental level. Your children do too, and so did you when you were a child and still carry your parents’ thought-vibrations with you as an adult. We all do. These so-called autistic children have gifts that we have not yet been able to recognize and I need you to believe this. I just KNOW it. Not because the religions, or schools or medical tests can prove or disprove this. It just is.
Clearly, I can relate to your pain from first-hand experience. As a child, I suffered a lot and wondered why God allowed it until one day (as a helpless child), I decided to control my fate by willing with my own mind what I wanted to happen (because I knew if I didn’t, someone was planning to kill me and other children, actually). From that moment and many others that followed, I realized that I could use my mind to change the course that I was on (they recognize this as quantum physics now). There’s a lot more to say but I will keep this post “short” this time because I think I made my point.
Our children carry a change in their DNA. We see it as “bad” but it isn’t. I believe every autistic child is super developed in certain areas, light years ahead of us. We, as parents have to will ourselves to find those gifts in them and nurture them, all the while nurturing ourselves. You have running (I run too but not nearly enough), and this is a positive way of dealing with the enormous responsibilities we face but we can do it. Similarly, by telling ourselves we can go farther, faster and longer than our personal best, we need to apply the same with our relationships with our families. No other option here. It’s our karmic duty to them.
Finally, Matt, this is the most important piece of encouragement I can offer: in the book Navigating the Collapse of Time, A Peaceful Path Through the End of Illusions, David Ian Cowan states that the Ho’oponopono Hawaiians sat in a circle whenever a member o the community experienced misfortune (p.145). While silently reflecting over what they may have done to contribute to this individual’s misfortune, they asked for her forgiveness and one by one, until everyone had left the circle, the person in the middle became healed. You are, like myself, a Capricorn and by nature have tendencies toward rigidity which cause problems like rheumatism in our knees (while running actually eventually strengthens them, if done correctly and consistently which has not been the recent case for me so of course they hurt this very minute). We have trouble in expressing our emotions, especially love and vulnerability so I found this very helpful. Having to summarize the jist of it, we need to think of our girls in our mind’s eye and repeat this: “i love you”, “I am sorry,” “please forgive me” and “thank you.” A certain Dr. Len did this when he worked with inmates of a criminal insane asylum. As he focused his thoughts (by saying the four phrases above) on each inmate, one at a time, they began getting well and eventually the ward shut down as they were all released. The power of YOUR mind is just as amazing! If there is a God, it gave you which you can do all by yourself!! damnit (interjection added for ironic emphasis).
These beautiful children will certain respond to us on a fundamental level if we direct our thoughts in this way.
That is all for tonight and I hope you don’t mind if I cut and paste this to my blog and that I am too tired to proofread! Thank you!
I was very sincerely touched that you reached out to ask how we are doing a couple of weeks ago. I didn’t respond until now because there’s too much to say and so few words to describe these experiences. I did read your post re: not believing in God anymore. I was brought up Christian but that label did not fit me, so I started practicing Buddhism and that helped me put my world view into a much more manageable perspective. I still don’t like labels but this one is the only one I can think of to describe my relationship to that-which-is-universal. You see, we as parents, from the Buddhist perspective, have come into this lifetime with a certain karma. Our girls did too. Like yours, my daughter has this “incurable” neurological “disability.” But let me tell you something, I know that my daughter is a million times “smarter” than I. I know that she is my child to teach me how to love unconditionally and to accept her as she is. I may not at all times be able to communicate the way I have learned how to in the world but I do know that my thoughts and non-verbal communications can affect her much more than language ever could. At four years eight months, she still does not speak. That scares the shit out of me, but I know know in my heart of hearts, she will when she is ready. I know she will be all the things in her life that she is supposed to be. I know that she will have a fulfilling, meaningful and happy existence not because God does or doesn’t have anything to do with it but because I am attuning these thought patterns into her subconsciousness every minute I can think about it and she feels this on a fundamental level. Your children do too, and so did you when you were a child and still carry your parents’ thought-vibrations with you as an adult. We all do. These so-called autistic children have gifts that we have not yet been able to recognize and I need you to believe this. I just KNOW it. Not because the religions, or schools or medical tests can prove or disprove this. It just is.
Clearly, I can relate to your pain from first-hand experience. As a child, I suffered a lot and wondered why God allowed it until one day (as a helpless child), I decided to control my fate by willing with my own mind what I wanted to happen (because I knew if I didn’t, someone was planning to kill me and other children, actually). From that moment and many others that followed, I realized that I could use my mind to change the course that I was on (they recognize this as quantum physics now). There’s a lot more to say but I will keep this post “short” this time because I think I made my point.
Our children carry a change in their DNA. We see it as “bad” but it isn’t. I believe every autistic child is super developed in certain areas, light years ahead of us. We, as parents have to will ourselves to find those gifts in them and nurture them, all the while nurturing ourselves. You have running (I run too but not nearly enough), and this is a positive way of dealing with the enormous responsibilities we face but we can do it. Similarly, by telling ourselves we can go farther, faster and longer than our personal best, we need to apply the same with our relationships with our families. No other option here. It’s our karmic duty to them.
Finally, Matt, this is the most important piece of encouragement I can offer: in the book Navigating the Collapse of Time, A Peaceful Path Through the End of Illusions, David Ian Cowan states that the Ho’oponopono Hawaiians sat in a circle whenever a member o the community experienced misfortune (p.145). While silently reflecting over what they may have done to contribute to this individual’s misfortune, they asked for her forgiveness and one by one, until everyone had left the circle, the person in the middle became healed. You are, like myself, a Capricorn and by nature have tendencies toward rigidity which cause problems like rheumatism in our knees (while running actually eventually strengthens them, if done correctly and consistently which has not been the recent case for me so of course they hurt this very minute). We have trouble in expressing our emotions, especially love and vulnerability so I found this very helpful. Having to summarize the jist of it, we need to think of our girls in our mind’s eye and repeat this: “i love you”, “I am sorry,” “please forgive me” and “thank you.” A certain Dr. Len did this when he worked with inmates of a criminal insane asylum. As he focused his thoughts (by saying the four phrases above) on each inmate, one at a time, they began getting well and eventually the ward shut down as they were all released. The power of YOUR mind is just as amazing! If there is a God, it gave you which you can do all by yourself!! damnit (interjection added for ironic emphasis).
These beautiful children will certain respond to us on a fundamental level if we direct our thoughts in this way.
That is all for tonight and I hope you don’t mind if I cut and paste this to my blog and that I am too tired to proofread! Thank you!
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Red Light Cancer Moon for a Home that used to be a House of Ill-Repute
RedIn Social Media U class right now. While waiting for classmates to resolve technical isssues on prehistoric PCs, I decided to do this entry at 2:15 pm instead of 2:15 am. Title of last blog was need a sign for a grand design and this morning, my notebook from 2009 was on the table opened to a page that I had copied from a book checked out from the library. I must have written the name of the book somewhere but the notebook was hijacked by a 2 year old, subsequently filled with scribbles and I believe the information I extensively copied was carried on in some other .99 cent notebook.
But back to the page: "strategic planning" (solving the right problem), clarity about what I want to accomplish by defining it. Goal planning should be SMART Goal Planning. Specific and Clearly Defined, Motivating and stimulating, Achievable (esp in terms of time frame) and honest and Tactical (have strategy and discipline). Now this Cancerian moon is going against my Capricorn nature so it's a red light period for me. My husban is busily cleaning and doing home activities to prepare for his mother's arrival from France tomorrow. He's doing just what he should under this moon. Me, I am just hoping that I can get my two team members to work for a couple of hours and get to the breaking bad habits meeting so I can get the child to stay in bed all night.
On a tangent once more before I run off to work...I can't seem to find the Linda Goodman chapter anywhere on Red Light/Green Light chapter that says why when the moon is in the Sun's opposite sign is a shitty day for the opposing sun sign. I will let you know about that later.
But back to the page: "strategic planning" (solving the right problem), clarity about what I want to accomplish by defining it. Goal planning should be SMART Goal Planning. Specific and Clearly Defined, Motivating and stimulating, Achievable (esp in terms of time frame) and honest and Tactical (have strategy and discipline). Now this Cancerian moon is going against my Capricorn nature so it's a red light period for me. My husban is busily cleaning and doing home activities to prepare for his mother's arrival from France tomorrow. He's doing just what he should under this moon. Me, I am just hoping that I can get my two team members to work for a couple of hours and get to the breaking bad habits meeting so I can get the child to stay in bed all night.
On a tangent once more before I run off to work...I can't seem to find the Linda Goodman chapter anywhere on Red Light/Green Light chapter that says why when the moon is in the Sun's opposite sign is a shitty day for the opposing sun sign. I will let you know about that later.
Monday, October 17, 2011
Need a Sign for a Grand Design
Whew! I am worn out from the incessant night interruptions and the unwanted early risings that occur seven days a week.
Tomorrow I am sort of happy to take a blogging class to help me figure out all the wrong things I must be doing on this one. Concerning social media, I still have yet to unleash the awesome marketing power of Twitter and Facebook (and have someone besides me(proof)read this blog). I thought I'd be a natural at this. Where have all my natural talents gone?
As usual, Lunology (soon to be Lunologie) has unfolded at a slug's pace and I am going to forfeit yet another hour or two so that I may update and organize a little more. It seems that now I have two more online courses to take–defensive driving and a moon course. I will also compile my trusty eclipse information so that the final chapter of my app can be written. Seriously though I am really tempted to do two things: 1) buy some shoes (that's the only shopping therapy that satisfies for me) and 2) close my eyes for a minimum of a fortnight. All the while a treasure trove of little elves busy themselves in their wooden workshops taking care of all the tasks that must be done daily and poof! I wake up with my life already at the pinnacle of my career artistically and astrologically.
By stating these simple, human desires, I feel that I am being daydreamy and lazy, i.e. Neptunian (not about the sleeping). The words (still, not that anyone's reading) really contain an underlying desperation of from my not knowing how can I keep going on, yet still having to muster the fortitude to overcome something every day. I feel like how dare I sleep when there are so few days left of this year and potentially so much to break through if I just get the energy to sustain myself. But having a kid with special needs is like fighting the war of attrition on so many fronts. I have the school(s), medical issues, behavior issues, food issues, sleep issues, communication issues so many freakin' issues to annihilate. To replace the negativity from these areas, I am required cultivate, nuture, and grow something beautiful out of these experiences. At the same time, I am not armed with a systematic plan for this. Hell, my career masterplan has taken decades to unfold. I don't have that kind of time anymore. This unnerves me. I want to start by gradually weaning her most of the things she loves to eat. And I have to do the same for myself while I am at it!
More tasks to do in other areas: work (dayjob), work (self-employment) and read one of the ten thousand books and articles I am involved with at the moment.
Tomorrow I am sort of happy to take a blogging class to help me figure out all the wrong things I must be doing on this one. Concerning social media, I still have yet to unleash the awesome marketing power of Twitter and Facebook (and have someone besides me(proof)read this blog). I thought I'd be a natural at this. Where have all my natural talents gone?
As usual, Lunology (soon to be Lunologie) has unfolded at a slug's pace and I am going to forfeit yet another hour or two so that I may update and organize a little more. It seems that now I have two more online courses to take–defensive driving and a moon course. I will also compile my trusty eclipse information so that the final chapter of my app can be written. Seriously though I am really tempted to do two things: 1) buy some shoes (that's the only shopping therapy that satisfies for me) and 2) close my eyes for a minimum of a fortnight. All the while a treasure trove of little elves busy themselves in their wooden workshops taking care of all the tasks that must be done daily and poof! I wake up with my life already at the pinnacle of my career artistically and astrologically.
By stating these simple, human desires, I feel that I am being daydreamy and lazy, i.e. Neptunian (not about the sleeping). The words (still, not that anyone's reading) really contain an underlying desperation of from my not knowing how can I keep going on, yet still having to muster the fortitude to overcome something every day. I feel like how dare I sleep when there are so few days left of this year and potentially so much to break through if I just get the energy to sustain myself. But having a kid with special needs is like fighting the war of attrition on so many fronts. I have the school(s), medical issues, behavior issues, food issues, sleep issues, communication issues so many freakin' issues to annihilate. To replace the negativity from these areas, I am required cultivate, nuture, and grow something beautiful out of these experiences. At the same time, I am not armed with a systematic plan for this. Hell, my career masterplan has taken decades to unfold. I don't have that kind of time anymore. This unnerves me. I want to start by gradually weaning her most of the things she loves to eat. And I have to do the same for myself while I am at it!
More tasks to do in other areas: work (dayjob), work (self-employment) and read one of the ten thousand books and articles I am involved with at the moment.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Martian Melancholic Moon Still Eclipses Energetic Emanations
Another day lacking energy. Going on a month battling with kid who wants to sleep in my bed at night–we are all worn out. Actually not going to talk about that here.
Having four hours of sleep put me in a kind of low mood. This evening, I cheered myself up by going to a champagne tasting of the Veuve Cliquot Grande Dame at Astor Wines and the Union Square Sephora to get free samples of American (!) perfumes--Be Delicious and Golden Delicious by DKNY, and Happy Heart by Clinique. On an interactive screen which I have never noticed before, I watched very illuminati-inspired, sexually charged mini-movies for mostly European fragrances with one of the older Sephora employees. She was utterly delighted by the sensuality while I felt that a month of dissecting media through the lens of Vigilant Citizen left me unimpressed and annoyed. Still, my mood was lifted by smelling a dozen fragrances sans coffee beans. The Sephora employee and I discovered both of us worked for a certain Estee Lauder company and vowed never purchase a product from them again (although I probably have since they own almost every American fragrances and quite a few fragrance products).
Searching for my personal fragrances using that interactive screen, I found out that I am a lover of herbal, and chypre. Personally, I always felt that my main love of fragrance centered around the floral notes. Ah well. Herbal and chypre is all Earth and sensuality. Some of the suggestions for fragrances that would go well with my "psychological responses" were correct (Clinique Aromatics Elixir and Happy Heart). I was most impressed by Especially Escada and will obtain samples of that one next visit.
At the moment, I am excited to execute my little Scorpionic Plan for Sephora's Firmenich Sensorium. Apparently two million women have stopped wearing fragrance. None of the articles are mentioning why. When women tell me they don't wear fragrance I have been intent on asking the reason. Of course I don't know why two million have stopped but I do know why several hundred have.
I should try to attend the Sensorium twice, once to experience it myself and once to interview people. Until then I need to figure out exactly what I need to ask the visitors (without getting caught) and how I would like to educate people (including myself) on the importance of wearing fragrance.
After Sephora, I headed over to Barnes and Noble next door and ordered a Grande Pumpkin Spice Latte (not plugging Starbucks here but hey on four hours of sleep you gotta get something). Did not detect one milliliter of pumpkin flavor so the barista kindly made me another to go with the one I already had. Yes I drank two Pumpkin Spiced Lattes tonight and that is the only reason I am up blogging right now...Reality sets in to remind me that I do need to get my kid dressed and on the school bus in fewer than six hours so I will be saying goodnight right about now.
On a final note, the effects of this full moon will linger another day or so then it will be time to see what my attempts at social marketing will yield as the waning moon approaches.
Having four hours of sleep put me in a kind of low mood. This evening, I cheered myself up by going to a champagne tasting of the Veuve Cliquot Grande Dame at Astor Wines and the Union Square Sephora to get free samples of American (!) perfumes--Be Delicious and Golden Delicious by DKNY, and Happy Heart by Clinique. On an interactive screen which I have never noticed before, I watched very illuminati-inspired, sexually charged mini-movies for mostly European fragrances with one of the older Sephora employees. She was utterly delighted by the sensuality while I felt that a month of dissecting media through the lens of Vigilant Citizen left me unimpressed and annoyed. Still, my mood was lifted by smelling a dozen fragrances sans coffee beans. The Sephora employee and I discovered both of us worked for a certain Estee Lauder company and vowed never purchase a product from them again (although I probably have since they own almost every American fragrances and quite a few fragrance products).
Searching for my personal fragrances using that interactive screen, I found out that I am a lover of herbal, and chypre. Personally, I always felt that my main love of fragrance centered around the floral notes. Ah well. Herbal and chypre is all Earth and sensuality. Some of the suggestions for fragrances that would go well with my "psychological responses" were correct (Clinique Aromatics Elixir and Happy Heart). I was most impressed by Especially Escada and will obtain samples of that one next visit.
At the moment, I am excited to execute my little Scorpionic Plan for Sephora's Firmenich Sensorium. Apparently two million women have stopped wearing fragrance. None of the articles are mentioning why. When women tell me they don't wear fragrance I have been intent on asking the reason. Of course I don't know why two million have stopped but I do know why several hundred have.
I should try to attend the Sensorium twice, once to experience it myself and once to interview people. Until then I need to figure out exactly what I need to ask the visitors (without getting caught) and how I would like to educate people (including myself) on the importance of wearing fragrance.
After Sephora, I headed over to Barnes and Noble next door and ordered a Grande Pumpkin Spice Latte (not plugging Starbucks here but hey on four hours of sleep you gotta get something). Did not detect one milliliter of pumpkin flavor so the barista kindly made me another to go with the one I already had. Yes I drank two Pumpkin Spiced Lattes tonight and that is the only reason I am up blogging right now...Reality sets in to remind me that I do need to get my kid dressed and on the school bus in fewer than six hours so I will be saying goodnight right about now.
On a final note, the effects of this full moon will linger another day or so then it will be time to see what my attempts at social marketing will yield as the waning moon approaches.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Full Moon Martian Arian Abundant Action Amiss
ughhh. I sit here on the cusp of the wee hours of the night staving off sleep with a half empty (yes partially imbibed, folks!) french table wine glass on the right and a large cup of rapidly cooling vanilla tea on the left. So much for all the courage, action, boundless energy and enthusiasm supposedly brought on by this occasion. I was dead asleep at the height of the full moon and barely dragged myself out of bed at midnight.
I am learning the about the joys of social media with Twitter as the second of three installments and reminding myself that I have to put in effort I never knew I had in order to reach my self-imposed deadline.
What of the qualities of fire Aries should I literally burn before going to back to sleep? I am not sure I have any. Any courage I have comes from Mars on the cusp of my Scorpio ascendant. BTW most people who don't know much about the qualities of the signs think that Scorpio is a fire sign. But I do digress.
Thanks Saturn, for making my fire flame so small (Saturn in Aries) that the light of the full moon snuffed it completely (I haven't even seen the moon tonight). Not sure what I am going to gain by being up this late right now but I figured with a pending app called Lunology (soon to be called Lunologie to thwart any confusion with the lunie church by the same name) I should be finishing up some aspect of this lunar activity with a blog entry about how the full moon all but seemed to take the wind out of my bag (seems more appropriate than sails which is a metaphor much too high class to describe my sentiments at the moment).
My fire, for the moment, will consist of me taking a puff of my electronic LOGIC cigarette which has an electric blue light at the end instead of orange ash. At least I can roll my eyes at the moon on my balcony outside while I puff.
I am learning the about the joys of social media with Twitter as the second of three installments and reminding myself that I have to put in effort I never knew I had in order to reach my self-imposed deadline.
What of the qualities of fire Aries should I literally burn before going to back to sleep? I am not sure I have any. Any courage I have comes from Mars on the cusp of my Scorpio ascendant. BTW most people who don't know much about the qualities of the signs think that Scorpio is a fire sign. But I do digress.
Thanks Saturn, for making my fire flame so small (Saturn in Aries) that the light of the full moon snuffed it completely (I haven't even seen the moon tonight). Not sure what I am going to gain by being up this late right now but I figured with a pending app called Lunology (soon to be called Lunologie to thwart any confusion with the lunie church by the same name) I should be finishing up some aspect of this lunar activity with a blog entry about how the full moon all but seemed to take the wind out of my bag (seems more appropriate than sails which is a metaphor much too high class to describe my sentiments at the moment).
My fire, for the moment, will consist of me taking a puff of my electronic LOGIC cigarette which has an electric blue light at the end instead of orange ash. At least I can roll my eyes at the moon on my balcony outside while I puff.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Capitalizing on the Capricorn Moon
SO much to do. Have to write while the moon's in my sign. Last night I spent my time doing the least favorite part of my job--invoicing. I also got a notice from my boss that I made almost 1300 copies last month. UHHH. Let me say that the moon being in my sign today helped in the following way.
- I was able to bide my time since the work order server which collects forms to contest erroneous charges was not responding
- the billing department gave the investigation to someone with whom I am on friendly terms
- that person only required that I send a copy of the document, which I did and it was done with a little spinning
Somehow I started "randomly" receiving updates from CAMBA and found that there was a class this afternoon on social media. Another question. Do you honestly think I know the first thing about how to use social media for business marketing? Literally all I knew was that it's important and trendy right now, no idea why. After signing up for the class, I found out that it is being taught by the same person who taught the business plan class I took the summer before last (when I last worked on this blog). From the first three minutes of the class, I was blown away by this Social Media Resolution 2 video on YouTube.
Still have a ton of work to do but I made a declaration to myself to generate a certain amount of income by December 31 of this year. That is precisely what I did last year and that is precisely what I am making now. Yes, this stuff is deep.
Yesterday I had to meet with my daughter's school members and I am getting her an iPad out of it. Not bad. Meanwhile I am making all the thoughts in my head support the physical reality that I desire. Remember how in the last post, I said I needed the energy to finish my first app? No, you don't. Well, it's LUNOLOGY and I need to shine and refine the moon phase info. Lo and behold, what should be featured as the special article of the day? Moonwatching Series!
Bloodshot eyes must now correct bad grammar content in company film...
Still have a ton of work to do but I made a declaration to myself to generate a certain amount of income by December 31 of this year. That is precisely what I did last year and that is precisely what I am making now. Yes, this stuff is deep.
Yesterday I had to meet with my daughter's school members and I am getting her an iPad out of it. Not bad. Meanwhile I am making all the thoughts in my head support the physical reality that I desire. Remember how in the last post, I said I needed the energy to finish my first app? No, you don't. Well, it's LUNOLOGY and I need to shine and refine the moon phase info. Lo and behold, what should be featured as the special article of the day? Moonwatching Series!
Bloodshot eyes must now correct bad grammar content in company film...
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Libran Lethargy
I have been away for so long. So many things have happened in the last year since my last blog entry. I don't even know when it was. I was homeless then. Luckily I have a place to live in a beautiful neighborhood. Is it perfect in every way? No. Is it mine? No but I am determined to have a different answer to those questions in my blog entry in a year. Ditmas Park is shockingly non-New York City. Not sure if I could be here if it were any other way. I live in a real house, (a part of it) with a front and back yard, driveway, balcony, porch and three levels. Not exactly the two bedroom in Bed Stuy directly across the street from the Men's Homeless Shelter of last July (we lived there one month).
Tonight will be just a quick nod that I am still here. My life has improved dramatically. Finally I have the internal strength to draw to myself the stability I need to accomplish what I am here to do. I do have bonecrushingly difficult struggles in my life at the moment. But I know I will knock any and all obstacles or transform the crises into opportunities. I, I, I. The I of I. OK. Still have weak moments but when I look back at how far I have come, there is nothing I can't do. Hold up. I am super drained. In bed right now, physically and somewhat emotionally spent, I have so many projects to do right now meaning at this very second. No coffee, no tea, no energy supplements are enough to get me from under the covers and to the atelier. As the moon enters capricorn (albeit going into is worst sign), I anticipate a surge of energy/inspiration. I am going to will it, summon of it, literally make my declaration manifest into physical reality just to be sure that I can. You guys, I need this to complete the Lunology for 2012.
Tonight will be just a quick nod that I am still here. My life has improved dramatically. Finally I have the internal strength to draw to myself the stability I need to accomplish what I am here to do. I do have bonecrushingly difficult struggles in my life at the moment. But I know I will knock any and all obstacles or transform the crises into opportunities. I, I, I. The I of I. OK. Still have weak moments but when I look back at how far I have come, there is nothing I can't do. Hold up. I am super drained. In bed right now, physically and somewhat emotionally spent, I have so many projects to do right now meaning at this very second. No coffee, no tea, no energy supplements are enough to get me from under the covers and to the atelier. As the moon enters capricorn (albeit going into is worst sign), I anticipate a surge of energy/inspiration. I am going to will it, summon of it, literally make my declaration manifest into physical reality just to be sure that I can. You guys, I need this to complete the Lunology for 2012.
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