Need a Sign for a Grand Design

Whew! I am worn out from the incessant night interruptions and the unwanted early risings that occur seven days a week.

Tomorrow I am sort of happy to take a blogging class to help me figure out all the wrong things I must be doing on this one. Concerning social media, I still have yet to unleash the awesome marketing power of Twitter and Facebook (and have someone besides me(proof)read this blog). I thought I'd be a natural at this. Where have all my natural talents gone?

As usual, Lunology (soon to be Lunologie) has unfolded at a slug's pace and I am going to forfeit yet another hour or two so that I may update and organize a little more. It seems that now I have two more online courses to take–defensive driving and a moon course. I will also compile my trusty eclipse information so that the final chapter of my app can be written. Seriously though I am really tempted to do two things: 1) buy some shoes (that's the only shopping therapy that satisfies for me) and 2) close my eyes for a minimum of a fortnight. All the while a treasure trove of little elves busy themselves in their wooden workshops taking care of all the tasks that must be done daily and poof! I wake up with my life already at the pinnacle of my career artistically and astrologically.

By stating these simple, human desires, I feel that I am being daydreamy and lazy, i.e. Neptunian (not about the sleeping). The words (still, not that anyone's reading) really contain an underlying desperation of from my not knowing how can I keep going on, yet still having to muster the fortitude to overcome something every day. I feel like how dare I sleep when there are so few days left of this year and potentially so much to break through if I just get the energy to sustain myself. But having a kid with special needs is like fighting the war of attrition on so many fronts. I have the school(s), medical issues, behavior issues, food issues, sleep issues, communication issues so many freakin' issues to annihilate. To replace the negativity from these areas, I am required cultivate, nuture, and grow something beautiful out of these experiences. At the same time, I am not armed with a systematic plan for this. Hell, my career masterplan has taken decades to unfold. I don't have that kind of time anymore. This unnerves me. I want to start by gradually weaning her most of the things she loves to eat. And I have to do the same for myself while I am at it!

More tasks to do in other areas: work (dayjob), work (self-employment) and read one of the ten thousand books and articles I am involved with at the moment.