Death

Not gonna say a lot here. Have to go to Phila tomorrow nite to stay with my aunt while the lead abatement takes place. Reallllly inopportune time to have to leave. We ended up not getting the house we wanted a few blocks away. Owner didn't want freelancers even though we would have paid six month's rent upon moving. Today we saw...Ok I dont even want to get into it.

I did a tarot reading. Shouldn't have done that when my heart feels like it is going to beat out of my chest.
Nervous as hell.

My final card was the Death card. I pray that means this huge struggle will be over. Feeling like I'M gonna die. I am, of course worried for my child. I don't think I could make it without her. Maybe it's the two cups of caramel tea I drank a little while ago. We had to pack up a lot of crap so that the workers can get it done. Glad Nicolas will be here while they work.

Each day that goes by makes me wonder if it's a signal to finally leave New York.