Woah, this week flew by in a whirlwind. I have spent most of the week outside with my girls. I am going to keep this short so that I can get to bed before three a.m.

As I was going to write in the last entry, I have been overcoming some obstacles and checking off mini victories. I already mentioned the fact that I told my mother to never speak to me again. Other such victories to mention are as follows: 1) I attended the Seventh Annual Total Woman Conference free of charge since my business coach offered me the opportunity to do some prep work for the conference ahead of time. Last Thursday, I stuffed gift bags with another volunteer. This reminded me of how much I enjoy doing behind the scenes work preparing for events.

The conference was all about money. Money (and mother) has been the theme of March—woman's month. Boy have I been working on rewiring my brain about money. As saturn continues to sit on my natal moon, I continue to learn what I don't know about money. Interestingly, I am not in fear now. Like most people, I fear the unknown but this time I am excited by it. Having some information about money (or how the mainstream views it) enables me to better imagine myself having it. I really need it now as I want to take the sixty hour business course at CAMBA.

Having experienced a very moving moment from Joyce Moy, I cried as she recounted how her mother and baby brother were sitting on a couch on the street, having been evicted before she got home from school. She emphasized that MONEY IS A TOOL. That statement made all the sense in the world to me. I like tools. I like to use tools to make my life easier. The key phrase for Capricorn is I USE.

During the conference, I got a chance to do exercises to undo some of the feelings of discomfort I feel when imagining myself with large amounts of money.

I learned many new things, got reinforcement for some things I already knew and unlearned some of what I no longer need on this journey.

2) I got matched with a lawyer from the call I put in to Legal Aid. I am reading the Letter of Engagement carefully as the second paragraph warns me to do. I am relieved that I am getting help pro bono and will be sure not to incur any unnecessary costs (which means I will not incur ANY costs).

3) It turns out that the banksters who are suing me are in a world of trouble of their own. Higher ups are in jail for drug smuggling, fraud, embezzlement and just about every other crime you can imagine.
The clerk told me that I have noting to worry about even though I am representing myself.

Yesterday, I listened to a webinar by Barbara Bellissimo called How to Ask for Money. I can't say that I was swept off my feet from the webinar or laser coaching (or the coachee, for that matter). I did, however, download The Ten Biggest Fears Women Have (I have all ten of them) and How to Overcome Them so this is what I am going to read before going to bed.

PS So much for keeping it short, but at least I am keepin' it real...

I have been MIA a lot this month as March Madness continues. Minor little victories is the name of the game for me this month. So far, I told my mother to never talk to me or my family again after that seventeen paged single spaced letterbomb she sent. This is an outcome that has been thirty years in the making.

Oh great, I just accidentally lost a half hour's worth of writing I put here, having edited it in the wrong format. Since Daylight's Savings (Losings) Time has already robbed me of an extra hour's sleep for the past three days, I have to go to bed an hour earlier and can't rewrite my commentary at this time. Now my baby is waking up too so it looks like this has to wait...

It's been a minute since I have last written. They always tell you to succeed in something you have to believe in yourself. They always say that you can do anything you put your mind to. They say that you can change your life and achieve great things by deciding what you want to do and taking action toward achieving your dreams. All the pep talk serves a purpose. We need it. We need the affirmations because our environment reflects what we feel and think about ourselves internally. We need to put positive thoughts and feelings in our minds in order to make positive things happen. But what they don't tell us is that when we decide to change our lives and put ourselves on a new path, all kinds of other things happen to stop the progress. That brings me to the art of understanding the astrological chart as usual. Generally speaking, we all have planets in our chart that have a job to do. Some planets work with others and some work alone. Some act as benefic agents, helping us grown and buoy challenges and stresses while others self sabotage. Some planets wield a lot of power and some are relatively weak. Specifically, I have a group of three planets in the same sign (Libra) very tightly knit. They work together ALL the time. One planet never does anything without the other two. They are in essence, the Three Musketeers. It just so happens that these planets are the Moon—representing my subconscious, my emotional needs and security, my instincts, my mother and my habits, Uranus—the planet of rebellion, upheaval, genius, insanity, sudden shocks and sudden changes. These two planets are in exact conjunction (meaning the same sign with the same degree--and there are thirty degrees in each sign) paired with Jupiter the planet of expansion, of the higher mind, luck, entertainment, over-doing it, my broadview with the outerworld and my well-spring of wisdom. Let's see now, in addition to having to go to court (this would be about finances and Jupiter rules my second house of finances), I got a seventeen paged, single-spaced, type letter of hatred and anger splattered in between mostly Old-Testament, Hell-Fire and Brimstone Style Biblical verses. This lovely letter came from my mother (did I mention the moon rules mother?) and all this chaos (that lovely loose-canon, Uranus) is going to finally either kill me or set me free (which option do you think will be my final outcome?!). More later, have to do some martian activity (exercise) and get the baby some air.

Neptune, the god who calleth those things that be not as though they were

Dear Reader,

(Reader is singular because I probably have only one reader, but to you I am grateful and i hope you conclude this post with a sense of inspiration).

Thank you for coming here to find out what I have to say today (it's after midnight and I just swigged my homemade brew of Starbucks coffee a little over three quarters of an hour ago). I pondered the topic for this edition of the Art of the Chart all day. 

I will attempt to keep this post short just because I have a bit of graphic design work to do before my brain comes to a screeching halt for the night (day).

So I have to write about Neptune again because it is such an indescribable planet. Of course now that I try to channel Neptune, I have no attention span (while watching 
Project Runway All Stars Challenge 2009 next to this screen.

Neptune doesn't get as much power credit as some of the other planets. Take the Sun. The Sun is where you shine. Mars. Mars is action, raw energy, sex drive, vitality. Even Saturn. Saturn scares you and kicks your ass  your whole life then Father Time says your time is up and you die. Yes, Saturn is a mother2^#! I mentioned Neptune's the generic influences in my February 17th blog.


But inspiration and imagination are two powerful forces. Since everything begins with a thought, the imagination allows us to visualize where we would like to go if we are not already there. Almost everything (manmade) around us first existed as a figment of someone's imagination before it materialized. How could we use the internet if someone didn't have the imagination to visualize and materialize something invisible? How did someone figure out that people's computers could talk to each other through some weird concept known as cyberspace? This imagination of the human mind includes all things good and bad. What is this concept called "mind," anyway? The word "mind" doesn't exist in German and probably many other languages (in French the word is "esprit," which is also the word for "spirit").

I have a lot of imagining to do right now as things in my life have to change drastically. Neptune gives relief when things get tough. I am currently experiencing an opportunity to tell my mind that my life is on a completely different level from where it actually is at this moment. Specifically, I am being sued by a credit card company and I need to go to court and deal with it (I can't pay it). But I am scared. I have been in court before under much more dire circumstances at a much younger age, so I can do this. 

Using mental pictures and associating powerful positive emotions will help me maintain the faith and strength to manifest my dreams. I absolutely must achieve my goals so that my children know that they can achieve theirs, too. I have multiple law issues to deal with, coming under the ruling of Venus and Saturn. This Friday, Venus day, I must deal with some legal issues and talk to my (hopefully) first mentor. I truly believe in my heart of hearts that I will be able to overcome anything because I will be able to surround myself with people who will help and believe in me to steer me on the right path.

astrologyblog

Today I went to a great class called Marketing Like A Pro at CAMBA, less than a ten minute walk from my apartment. I had NO idea that CAMBA had 55 locations in Brooklyn and a $70,000,000 annual budget. This was one of the best classes I have ever attended, anywhere, period. Before arriving, I didn't know what to expect. The title of the course itself seemed a little cheesy but I really feel like the class lived up to its name. And it was FREE. Only in New York. We really do have the best and worst of everything here. This free class was a better deal than an MBA Marketing class at Harvard (not dissing Harvard, but free is a better deal by default). The instructor started off by asking us what we wanted to cover in the course. We had thirteen points on the board—they were all covered in detail and I learned more about marketing in those two and a half hours than I have learned in my entire lifetime.

The first day I started this blog, I mentioned that I was working on the marketing section in my business plan. I have been gathering information but haven't been able to visualize the structure needed to execute the plan, nevermind convey it on paper. But now I can do it. And I am scared. The world of possibilities continues to reveal itself to me each day. And for that, I am grateful. Feeling like I am finally headed where I need to go, I vacillate between elation, excitement and tears of joy/fatigue, and being frightened (how the hell am I going to get this done?). I realized after taking this class that I have to go back to the drawing board and revisit my target market demographics.

The planet Mercury rules over Wednesday (in French, Wednesday is mercredi). Mercury rules Virgo and Gemini. I met a Virgo wedding planner who I think I can work with and vice versa (more on this later). Use Wednesdays and mercury hours for learning, research, and transferring information. Fait accompli.

Finally, on this day (well, now it's technically yesterday) I went downtown and taped up a couple of flyers around the area where I lost my camera. I hope the police don't call me (yes, I printed my phone number) tomorrow morning saying that I committed a federal offense by posting flyers on private property ( a subway entrance, a telephone booth). I was desperate to do something to alleviate my grief. If I go to jail, at least I will have a lot of time to plan. Siiiigggh.

Ugh. Neptune, you swampy water god

I am heartbroken. Saturday was my toddler's third birthday so we went to a Family Art Making Day at BRIC—a Brooklyn gallery. I took a grand total of three pictures and remember putting the camera back into its carrying case before returning it to my backpack. After we left, someone tapped me on the back saying my bag was open and of course the camera fell out but I didn't realize this until today. Priceless pictures gone forever. Losing things has always been a past time of mine.
Neptune in the first house makes be prone to daydreaming, confusion, forgetfulness and disorganization. The positive traits I get from this placement include daydreaming, escapism (speaking of which, I sure could use a drink right about now*), imagination, mystical tendencies, ability to tune into psychic energy, artistic and musical ability. I am kind of too upset to write now. I cried a little because I felt a loss for the pictures of my kids. The only way I felt a little better after posting a lost ad on craigslist and seeing that I am not the only one who has recently lost something of value. Someone actually posted that they found an envelope with a thousand dollars in it!  My belief in humanity has been temporarily been restored but I am still aching in the heart area. My husband bought that camera for me to photograph our baby. Sighhhhh.

OK so I really need to just post this. Remember how yesterday I mentioned I have trouble sustaining my energy levels? I got a chance to listen to February 9th's edition of James' Martinez's show with Richard Bandler who helps severely mentally ill or phobic people get rid of psychological problems really quickly (I need to see him myself!). For over forty years, Bandler has studied the techniques used by successful people and how they control their thought patterns and how they harness their behaviors in order to be successful. Interestingly, he mentions that the people who are finishers become MORE motivated as they get closer to their finished results and they don't wait till the last minute to do things (hmm, the opposite of my usual tactics).

I am going to force the more evolved side of Neptune to prevail at the moment so, it's better if I work on my moon app art now. Maybe I will design a flyer to hang up around downtown.

Going to a free business seminar tomorrow. I hope it inspires...

* I chose to finish my broccoli soup with a dash of port in it and drink a cup of British Blend Tetley tea instead.

New Moon, Retro Mars

Ugh, too much time has passed since I have written. A week goes by in the blink of an eye. This motherhood, work-at-home-mom thing is impossible. Men just don't understand. The two of us are here all the time (my husband and I) but it's still me who is on call 24/7. I am not complaining (well, maybe a little bit) but truthfully, my time management skills have always left much to be desired.

This past week has been one adventure in mother hell. The other night, my toddler was on the potty and my baby was around the potty. For some reason, the baby enjoys knocking down the potty cover while my toddler sits on it (and draws for hours) and basically quietly heckles my overdue potty trained daughter. I stepped out of the room to look through some sketch books for blank pages for busy-time drawings. No more than two minutes passed before I got back to the children—my baby had brown smeared all around her mouth and her hands. A tiny brown hand print was (wet) plastered on my older daughter's white (it was a gift!) sweater. I screamed bloody murder as my baby had literally eaten sh*$!@. Typical! My toddler might has well been whistling dixie. She just sat there as though her baby sister's sampling her second hand foodwares was no different from her eating Gerber.

As much as all of these incidents go on in life, I have to stay focused on what I am supposed to do. How can I remain focused? I just try to remember what my Sun is about. Achievement. That fable
The Tortoise and the Hare didn't get lost on me as a wee one. Not surprisingly, I feel like this time, if I can hammer away a little each day, time (good ol' Saturn) will definitely be on my side and I can really accomplish this.

Today the Moon is in Pisces. I tend to have very low energy and feel a bit blaaahhh when the Moon is in this sign--even more so than when it's in Cancer which is supposed to be sort of ugly for Capricorns. Capricorns don't generally like to tune into the moon energy (or at least this one doesn't). It's too moody and unpredictable for me. I like the intuition and all that, but I just don't like being all erratic and affected by stuff. A case in point is that I missed the New Moon again. This is bad because I need to do some money spells. I also forgot that it is Chinese New Year of the Tiger (I have to look that one up). The New Moon in Aquarius has definitely brought some far out hopes and wishes to the forefront. But now it's imperative to harness the Mars Retrograde in Leo energy so as not to burn out my enthusiasm and let the dreams fade away. I have super weak fire (a little debilitated Saturn in Aries, oy vey) in my chart so my stamina really is about slow and steady wins the race. I think this fixed nature of Leo will help me to really push my career along (it's placement is in my tenth house of career. When it goes direct in early March, I hope to have my first app done).

I wanted to just make everyone aware if you are trying to put together a marketing plan, check out this Facebook link and make this machine work for your whatever you're trying to do. There's so much information on this site that I am still sifting through. The potential here is incredible! Exciting!